But it was Free Speech When Bush was the Clown

These articles are hard to write. I do not by that mean I cannot put the words together (oh, please, hold you laughter for at least ten seconds) but there is such an overabundance of topics to write about that it is often tough to determine which one I should pay attention to. If I were writing every day, this would not be a problem, but I can barely manage once a week.

However, today, the Commentary Gods have handed me something on a silver platter.

Perhaps you were fortunate enough to see the video of a rodeo in Missouri where a clown put on an Obama mask and somebody asked the crowd if they wanted to see Obama run over by a bull.

Well, would you? Of course you would, so here is the video. You're welcome. Come back after you've watched it ten times.

Welcome back.

Can you hear the weeping and gnashing of teeth from the left? This is outrageously offensive, they say, and, as one knucklehead pointed out, "we are better than this." Bollocks, I say, this is political satire in its purest form. It's a live caricature of our Supreme Leader (Bless His Holy Name) and, the last time I checked, we are allowed to lampoon our government. Examples? Any sketch on Saturday Night Live (pre-Obama, of course) and various newspaper cartoons where The Leader is drawn with an exaggerated chin.

The left sure loved lampooning Bush! Portraying him as Hitler was a master stroke; the caricature of Dick Cheney as Darth Vader wasn't as imaginative. I guess we weren't "better than this" when it came to Bush and Cheney. Of course not. Bush likes to pull the wings off flies and Cheney eats newborn babies, everybody knows that.

It's a hoot to watch the left get in a tizzy when their own garbage is thrown back at them.

There is no free speech when it comes to Obama, either because the left starts throwing the racist term or because the IRS and NSA are listening. What we're left is David Letterman attempting intercourse with Obama on the set of his show. (You used to be funny, Dave. I liked it when you'd throw watermelons off the roof of an office building. Wait, was that racist?)

I can't wait until Hilary gets elected so all criticism of her can be called sexist. You know it's coming!

"The Republicans hate Hilary because....she's a woman."

"Would the GOP attack Hilary if she had a penis?"

"It was really inappropriate for John Boehner to make that menopause joke, Wolf. We're better than this."

Oh, the humanity.


BRIAN DRAKE is a broadcaster in California and the author of The Rogue Gentleman, a thriller in the tradition of Vince Flynn and Brad Thor. Follow him on Twitter.

Liberal Woman are the Best!

I need to find a nice liberal girl to marry. That way, when I cheat (because I'm nailin' anything on two feet and in wheel chairs or on crutches!) she'll smile coyly and still stand to the left and slightly behind me like a good wife should.

Heck, it works for Anthony and Huma, right?

I don't understand liberal women. Why they are so willing to stay with philandering husbands goes beyond any social comprehension I have attained in my 37 years. From Jackie to Hilary to Huma and beyond, liberal women keep a stiff upper lip while their husbands screw around.

Can you imagine if Todd cheated on Sarah? I have a feeling Mr. Palin would become the unfortunate victim of a snow machine accident.

In my social circle, if you ask a women what she would do if her husband/boyfriend/miscellaneous were to cheat, you will get a diatribe full of violent descriptions of decapitations, mutilations, and other forms of bloody mayhem. However, based on what we see on TV, and knowing way too many lefties, I have a feeling that the sharpened knives will remain in their drawers and unused for any of the described mutilations. These women, while claiming they will defend their honor, will slink back into their corner because that's, apparently, what women do. For the kids, of course. Because he's going to be better, right?

And I don't understand that.

I guess the difference between Jackie, Hilary, and Huma and the average woman is that they have something to lose. If they string up their husbands (except in Jackie's case.....oh, never mind) they miss out on whatever political fortunes they are compiling. At least that's what the common wisdom is, and perhaps it is correct. Certainly in Hilary's case it is. A woman divorced from the president wouldn't go as far--I think. I suppose. But I'm really not sure. I think the women in these cases are weak and unable to stand up and/or take care of themselves, thus defeating the alleged purpose of modern feminism. In other words, back in the '60s they made a bunch of noise and burned a ton of bras just so they could bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and stand by and smile while their man humiliates them on national television.

You've come a long way, baby!


ABOUT: Brian Drake is a California conservative and the author of The Rogue Gentleman, now available in paperback from Amazon.com.

What if they Called for a Riot and Nobody Came?

Personally I thought George Zimmerman was toast. When I heard that the jury was exclusively made up of women, I thought emotions, not facts, would carry the day. I thought the influence of the media, the Department of Justice, the threat of riots, etc., would doom the man.

Boy was I surprised.

Have you been as fascinated as I have about the aftermath? Why do you think the black community hasn't burned down the entire country over the Zimmerman verdict? Seriously, Oakland, Chicago, Los Angeles and parts of Detroit should be on fire right now.

There have been violent flare ups, certainly. But nothing on a large scale. Nothing organized. even Al Sharpton has to keep up the rallying cry. Nobody is listening.

My grand conspiracy theory is that Obama seriously wanted national rioting. There was no reason for him to deal himself into the matter when he said Trayvon Martin could have been his son. No reason at all. The only reason I can sense is that he wanted to be able to have a say once the chaos began, and impose some sort of martial law allowing Homeland Security to start using their billions and billions of bullets.

It might sound far fetched, but it's the only thing that adds up (to me). The only other answer is that everything is about Obama so of course he had to comment.

There's something about this case that made the left think they had a spark with which to ignite rage in the black community, but it's not working. That's the other mystery. It's ready-made. Why isn't it working?

Is it the economy? Nobody has time to riot because they're too busy looking for work?

Or, maybe, have we finally caught on to the manipulation that the media and the ruling regime like to use against us?

All I know is that, as of now, the DOJ is continuing the witch hunt. They're going to put Zimmerman away even if they have to pass a law against littering to do so. That's justice.

Because, when you think about it, Trayvon Martin was the only son Obama might have had.


ABOUT: Brian Drake is a California conservative and the author of The Rogue Gentleman, now available in paperback from Amazon.com.

The Difference, or: The 99% is a State of Mind

Candid conversations that reveal the most, you know.

Take Vice President Joe Biden's recent trip to the Bay Area as one example.

President Obama (Bless his Holy Name) and Vice President Joe Biden (crickets) like to visit the San Francisco Bay Area because this hotbed of leftism is a great ATM machine. They fly in, raise some money, and fly out. As somebody who earns part of his living flying in airplanes, we are always restricted to the ground or designated areas when these VIPs arrive for security reasons.

The President made one visit last month; a week later, Biden followed. Joe, being the "aw shucks" regular guy he is (he'll tell you so), performed not only a fundraising speech but also visited "regular guy" places like a local deli. At the deli he mixed with the great unwashed--uh, I mean, regular people. According to the video shown on the local news that evening, one lady went up to Joe and said, "I'm really glad you stick up for the little guy."

Joe replied, "That's OK, I'm a little guy too."

Is somebody in the back raising their hand? You have a question?

I don't mean to be negative but that exchange doesn't sound like it's worth our time, dude. Unless Biden is talking about his penis, what's the point?

I'm glad you asked .... but let's keep it clean, okay? Thanks.

While today's leftist rails about the oppression of the one percent while claiming to be part of the 99%, each statement drips bitterness. While the 99% claim to be fighting the oppression, really what they're admitting is that they are "little guys" who have nobody to stick up for them so they need people like Obama (Bless His Holy Name) and Biden (crickets). But the bitterness comes from their state of mind.

The "little guy" needs somebody to stick up for him because he is powerless. He has no ideas. No initiative. He invents nothing. He waits for somebody else hoping to latch on to another person's success. When he is unable to latch on, and suffers for it, it's the other guy's fault. The other guy has too much money and is mean and nasty because he won't share. Instead of spending time creating a business, creating and selling a piece of art, or something else equally productive that may raise his standing in life, the "little guy" pitches a tent in front of a bank, paints a sign ("Capitalism is Evil!"), and rails against the one percent.

That's the difference between the "99%" and the rest of us. I'm certainly not in an income bracket that qualifies me for a spot with the one percent, but there is no reason for me to allow myself to get dragged to the other side (which is the goal, the classic divide-and-conquer, don't kid yourself). My attitude is strictly One Percent and I don't apologize for it.

Living in the Bay Area is expensive. While my salary covers my lifestyle, it doesn't leave a lot for extras. But instead of complaining, I'm creating. I write books (see the link below!) and perform free-lance voice over work. It helps keep the hounds at bay and the good news is that while profits may be growing slowly, they're growing. In a couple of years I'll be doing quite well indeed.

When you classify yourself as a "little guy" you make it so. You'll never be anything more than that because in your mind you convince yourself that you will never be anything more than that. That's Self-fulfilling Prophecy 101. That's where the bitterness comes from. Deep down, the leftist knows this. But he dares not say so out loud because that would require him to take responsibility, and responsibility to a leftist is like Kryptonite to Superman.



ABOUT: Brian Drake lives in California and is the author of The Rogue Gentleman which will soon be released in paperback (and available now as an ebook).

Want to be a Rebel? Pray.

If you want to be a rebel and stick it to The Man in the 21^st Century, pray. If necessary, pray in public.

That’s what a valedictorian in South Carolina did. Liberty High Valedictorian Roy Costner IV took his preapproved speech to the podium (because students can’t be trusted and The Man must make sure they aren’t going to say something off-color), and in front of the crowd, tore it up. Then he recited the Lord’s Prayer.

Now the school in question does not allow that sort of religious expression, specifically because a bunch of atheists complained. Prayer makes atheists cry and wet their pants. The school didn't want to have to clean up the mess.

But in the 21^st Century, if one wants to be counter-culture, if one wants to be a rebel, one needs to pray.

How far have we fallen where such activity is now considered rebellion? How far have we fallen where simple expressions of faith are against the rules? Why do we allow cry babies to dictate the behavior of the rest of us? Are people so sensitive that they break out in a rash if somebody expresses religious faith? Come on, people. Let’s grow up. But since we aren’t going to do that, allow me to speak to you in a language you may understand.

I know what you’re thinking. Freedom of religion also means freedom from religion, bla bla bla, but what you people want is the abolishment of any kind of public expression of faith, and that’s going too far in the other direction. Just because you don’t like it doesn’t allow you to tell the rest of us that we can’t express it. And saying we still have the freedom to do it privately, in our churches, etc., doesn’t count. Most of this country has some kind of religious faith. You people are the minority. That means there aren’t that many of you. I’m sorry to break it to you, but that’s the truth. You bang pots and pans to make a lot of noise so we pay attention to you but you’re few and far between. That means sometimes you need to be quiet and let the other person have his say. You are free to say something in response, should you have the floor, but otherwise you need to sit and be polite and quiet and let the grown-ups do their thing. When the graduation is over, you can piss and moan all the way home about how offended you are that somebody mentioned the name Jesus.

The same goes for the non-Christian religions. I’m sorry you’re upset that we aren’t praying to your sissy fake moon god, but tough it out. When you have the floor, you can pray to your sacred cow or your totem poll or your picture of Lady Gaga. In the meantime, zip your hairy lip. Better yet, wax that thing. You look gross.

You think I'm being intolerant? Honey, you haven't seen intolerant yet.

I will admit that this isn’t my most eloquent piece of writing. It’s downright juvenile, really. But I’m tired of people in this country looking at religion—particularly the Christian religion, which seems to get most of the attention—like it’s a contagious disease. Uh-oh, they might get their Jesus on us! Of course, if you read the Bible, you know full well that they hate us because they not only hated Jesus first, but they hated what Jesus taught. I write that in the past tense because this sort of conflict reaches back through history to the days before the Crucifixion. What Jesus taught demands a response. You believe it or you don’t, there’s no in-between, and people can’t handle not having a gray area to hide in. So they attack, attack, attack. This is not unexpected, because Jesus said it would happen. Those on the other side have drawn their line and while I can respect that, I also expect to be respected. If I am not respected, I will fight back. I will rebel. I will stick it to The Man by going to church. How silly does that sound?

The school in question, in their divine wisdom, says they aren't going to punish Mr. Costner for breaking the rules. I'm sure his knees were knocking at the thought. But if he was anything like me at that age, his last thought before taking the stage was, "The heck with this place, I'm graduating."

Good luck, Roy. Millions of us rebels are with you.

Ladies, Promoting Unhealthy Lifestyles Leads to Death

As Rush might say, This will get me in trouble.

There is a segment of the female population that is promoting the idea that just because they are fat doesn't mean they aren't beautiful. They have websites, books, television programs, and various niches on social media to make the point. They are tired of being picked on and made to feel "less than" because of their size. Part of this I understand.

There should not be a blatant war on people who are overweight. It's just not cool.

But at the same time, this segment of the female population is causing harm. You may be fat. You may also be beautiful. But you will die early because of heart disease, diabetes, kidney problems, and a variety of other medical issues that we have a wide knowledge of these days. You will have a lower quality of life in general because of your weight. Joint problems. Back pain. The inability to fit in an airline seat. You're going to put up with this because you're trying to make a point about body image? Great. We'll put "She was fat but she was beautiful" on your headstone, along with a picture so we can all remember how young you were when you died, and admire your dedication to the cause. You sure showed 'em, girl!

Americans seem to have a hard time putting down the fork. Probably because we have so much food and so much money and plenty of time on our hands that there isn't much else to do. We sure as hell aren't solving problems or helping the less fortunate.

It's not hard to lose weight and eat well. We see time and again how people who have been huge at one point in their life slim down to a healthy size. It's not easy. It does take effort. Effort that I, myself, having been at least 40 pounds overweight my entire adult life, have yet to be able to stick to. Effort is something Americans have a hard time sticking to these days, period. I have seen two friends who have dropped a tremendous amount of weight. They look great, and when I ask what they're doing, they have the same answer. They made a plan, consulted experts, and stuck to the plan. This is the example we--I--should follow.

My weight, according to my doctor, is becoming an issue as I approach 40. Changes need to be made. It seems to me these women would hear that advice and then claim that they have been somehow persecuted. Seriously?

I'm all for a positive image and what it takes to attain that. I'm all for feeling confident about oneself. However, trying to achieve that confidence while taking risks with your health is misguided.


ABOUT: Brian Drake is the author of The Rogue Gentleman. His audio commentaries will soon air on RadioSlot.Com. Follow him on Twitter @BrianDrake75

The Czech Republic Leads the Way?

If there is any doubt that America is no longer the innovative country that it once was, we need look no further than the Czech Republic for the latest (and amazing!) idea that certainly should have happened here in the U.S. first. This is the kind of thing Americans used to be good at. And then came President Obama (Bless His Holy Name).

As the Australian reports, "....commuters looking for love will soon be able to try their luck at romance in designated dating cars.....The Prague "Love Train", which will promote a laissez-faire approach rather than strict speed-dating rules, is due to launch at the end of the year."

Of course, in America,we can't have a train just for male/female singles. We have to have a separate trains broken down by racial groups, the LGBTs, and trains for those who have no idea if they are male or female despite what anatomical parts they came with at birth. We need trains for different religions, single parents, and any other social group you can think of, because, in America, we can't have anything as simple as a "singles train." It must--simply must--be made as complicated as possible so that no ethnic, social, or any other kind of demographic group feels left out. In America, when people feel let out, they start crying; when crybabies let the waterworks start, they usually call lawyers, and then the party is over.

We need a special committee to take ten years to decide the size of the train, the shape of the seats, the color scheme; we need background checks and Internet profiles on everybody who steps aboard the train, because you never know when some creep might come aboard and if he or she rapes somebody we gotta have an Internet profile to consult. We need a special license for the train operators--and those operators cannot be married less all the singles on the train get envious and start crying, because singles are fragile that way--and anybody who cleans the trains after the commute must be single, too, for the same reason.

That's how we do it in the United States now. It started long before Obama (Bless His Holy Name), but it's getting worse now.
 
In the Czech Republic? The spokesman for the company in charge of the project said, according to the newspaper, that "the company [is] now deciding which of a train's five cars would be most suitable, the number of trains to include and what kind of signage to display...The carriage will be marked, and there will be information on the platform and inside the carriage, in foreign languages too."

The Czechs favor the simple approach.

Excuse me while I update my passport.


ABOUT: Brian Drake is the author of The Rogue Gentleman. His audio commentaries will soon air on RadioSlot.Com. Follow him on Twitter @BrianDrake75